At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
