Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
