Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
