tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I can't turn off my feet"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
