Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
