The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
