lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
