i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
