his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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