so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
