matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
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