...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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