i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
