I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize