dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Randomize
