Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize