and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
