If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
