I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
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currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
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