my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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