Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize