Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
