Screwed.edu
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
