At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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