im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
