How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
