Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
