come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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