So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
