Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize