You're completely useless in the revolution.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
