I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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