There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
