i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize