Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
