forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
