meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize