The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
