I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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