College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
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