Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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