We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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