Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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