You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize