Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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