Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
