i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
