STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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