The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
