She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
