SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
