So drunk its hurt
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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