I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
is that a dick in a sweater?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
