I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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