Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
