white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
