2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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