I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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