New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize
