So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
